I took Emil shopping yesterday to buy him a purim costume. He got superman. It's got a cape. And a padded chest giving him a six pack. David says that he (David) doesn't have a six pack, but rather a keg. Funny. Anyway, I took Emil to a baby store as I wanted to look at things for the baby. I still haven't bought anything for it. Partly from superstition but yesterday, standing there, thinking about making a choice, it got so overwhelming. Emil was picking out toys for the baby. How about this one? How about this one? Things that the baby wouldn't be able to use for at least two years. Cute. But for me, standing there, trying to decide which onesies I should consider and what about swaddling blankets and burping cloths and all of those things, I just couldn't make a decision. I left the store feeling so incompetent. What right do I have to be a mother when I can't even make a decision about what clothes to buy for this child? I really wished my mother was here. That is the thing about mother's, they can help you decide what to buy. Tell you what a baby needs and be there with you as you pick things out. My mother and sister have sent a package of things for the baby, but I still need to prepare here. I wish she was here. It doesn't seem that we will be able to bring my mother here for the birth either and it is really hard to feel so alone. It would be different if I had other women who have experienced all of this here in my life. But I don't. At least not anyone that I feel comfortable talking to or asking for help from. This isn't how I imagined being pregnant or having a baby, but unfortunately this is the situation. So, I plow forward...
It is getting harder to sleep now at night. I have terribly vivid dreams, sometimes I dream about ex boyfriends, like I am working through old relationships in my dreams. I am so hot at night, I wake up sweating. Last night there was a mosquito in our room and it bit me three times. I had to cover myself back up to make sure that I wouldn't get bitten more, especially on my feet, where the bites tend to swell and get infected. I have scars from mosquito bites all over my feet now. It is gross. I am exhausted all day and when I try to nap, I can't. For some reason, sleep eludes me during the day. I am hungrier now too. The other day it felt like I spent the day, eating, sleeping or going to the bathroom.
I am 33 weeks pregnant. If I carry full term, that means that there is just 7 more weeks left to go. I long to sleep on my back. After I came home from the mall with Emil yesterday, I noticed my feet were super swollen, so I had to lie down and wait for them to get back to normal. My stomach is bigger and I am having trouble shaving my legs and other areas...It is such an adjustment, all of this and it isn't going to stop, is it? I feel nervous sometimes, as I am afraid that I won't be a good mother, that I am too self centred to think about being responsible for someone for a life time. I think that I don't know enough to do this. All of that stuff. And it is crazy, as I have worked with children for many years, from 6 months to 6 years. But I am much more comfortable with it being a job. There is less pressure. I could come and be fun for 6 hours a day. Then go home and rest and come back the next day to do it all again. I know how to prepare nutritious meals for kids and how to discipline children age appropriately, I know how to change diapers and make a bottle, I know the songs to sing and the games to play. But I don't know what to buy my baby so that it can have clothes. It's nuts. I miss my mom.
The Desert
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Not My Problem
I have had some disturbing comments regarding my last post. At least disturbing to me. And I want to comment on the latest comment that was posted. The reader said, and I am quoting "I think the girl was initially smart to try and just say she was British and that is a secular Jew's choice..." "I think she said that is self-protection mode."
The fact is, her answer "I'm British" didn't satisfy the group of girls, now did it? The young girl was STILL beaten up. Just like the Jews of the Holocaust who tried everything to appear not Jewish, they were still rounded up, put in ghettos and then taken to camps and exterminated. People who were 1/4 Jewish (meaning they had ONE GRANDPARENT who was Jewish but were raised catholic, christian whatever, were also rounded up and put in camps. So this so called "assimilation" doesn't work, does it? Jews are still targeted and it is getting worse. Thousands of Jews are fleeing France for Israel, I have met many of them in my town here in Israel. They say the situation is bad there for Jews, and is getting worse. Denying where you come from doesn't erase the fact that Jews are always targeted. Look at the news coverage from the Lebanon war this past summer. I watched CNN and FOX News. I saw the way they covered the war. There was very little coverage on how the war was effecting Israel. It was mostly what Israel did to Lebanon. They didn't show the empty towns in the North, they didn't show the 25 people living in a 3 room apartment in the south of the country. They neglected to mention the fact that three months before the war started Hezbollah was firing rockets into Northern Israel and they made virtually no mention of the two soldiers kidnapped by Hezbollah at the border. They didn't interview the soldiers' families, who, by the way, are still suffering without news of their children. And for the soldiers, Hezbollah wants Israel to release Arab Prisoners. The last time Israel did that with Hezbollah, the soldiers were returned DEAD.
I will admit, I don't like living in Israel. Last night, David and I were lying in bed and we heard what sounded like an explosion. We both were convinced that it was a bomb. And we never get bombs in Ashdod. That is one of the perks of living in this little southern town. I have missed some trips to Jerusalem over the last couple of weeks because of the rioting happening with the Arabs regarding the building of a walkway to the temple mount. I don't like living in this state of constant stress and danger to my life. Everytime I go to Jerusalem, I phone David as soon as I get there and before I am about to get on the bus to come home, so that he knows that I am safe. He tells me to be careful, sit in the front of the bus and if I see anyone suspicious, tell the bus driver to open the door. Not so I can run off, although that is a good idea, but because the reason so much damage can occur with a bomb, is because it sucks the air out of the enclosed space and people end up dying of asphyxiation. He learned all this in the army. Israel has its own problems politically and I fear for the survival of the state of Israel. There is a lot of infighting among Jews as well. And this country, Israel, was created as a safe haven for Jews, to come and live and not HAVE to pretend that they aren't Jews. So that they could be proud of being Jewish and could walk the streets safely without fear of oppression. And for the most part, they do walk the streets proud of being Jewish. It is a relief for many people to come here and to be able to live openly and proudly as a Jew. But it doesn't stop, just because they are in Israel. Now there is the terrorist threat from all sides, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Egypt. Each arab country has it's own terrorist organization trying to do harm to Israel. Then there is Iran.
The fact is, that Jews in North America live in a bubble. Especially in Canada. We are very free to be what we want to be, to practice what we want to practice. So we become apathetic about the problems in the rest of the world. Why should we get involved? That is our mantra. If we just live our own lives and mind our own business, we won't get hurt. But do we not have some sort of social responsibility towards others and ourselves?
The reader went on to say "I think the issue is more complicated than you give credit and can't be conflated with all of hate and racism." I am sorry dear reader, but if someone is hurting someone else based on the color of their skin or their ethnicity it is called racism, which, according to dictionary.com is a form of hatred.
I will post the definitions of racism here:
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
I think the issue is not as complicated as you would like to believe and that is just another way of saying "There is nothing I can do about it, since I can't think of who to write a letter to about this in a politically correct fashion"
The North American way, to write a letter.
And dont' forget to be politically correct.
The fact is, her answer "I'm British" didn't satisfy the group of girls, now did it? The young girl was STILL beaten up. Just like the Jews of the Holocaust who tried everything to appear not Jewish, they were still rounded up, put in ghettos and then taken to camps and exterminated. People who were 1/4 Jewish (meaning they had ONE GRANDPARENT who was Jewish but were raised catholic, christian whatever, were also rounded up and put in camps. So this so called "assimilation" doesn't work, does it? Jews are still targeted and it is getting worse. Thousands of Jews are fleeing France for Israel, I have met many of them in my town here in Israel. They say the situation is bad there for Jews, and is getting worse. Denying where you come from doesn't erase the fact that Jews are always targeted. Look at the news coverage from the Lebanon war this past summer. I watched CNN and FOX News. I saw the way they covered the war. There was very little coverage on how the war was effecting Israel. It was mostly what Israel did to Lebanon. They didn't show the empty towns in the North, they didn't show the 25 people living in a 3 room apartment in the south of the country. They neglected to mention the fact that three months before the war started Hezbollah was firing rockets into Northern Israel and they made virtually no mention of the two soldiers kidnapped by Hezbollah at the border. They didn't interview the soldiers' families, who, by the way, are still suffering without news of their children. And for the soldiers, Hezbollah wants Israel to release Arab Prisoners. The last time Israel did that with Hezbollah, the soldiers were returned DEAD.
I will admit, I don't like living in Israel. Last night, David and I were lying in bed and we heard what sounded like an explosion. We both were convinced that it was a bomb. And we never get bombs in Ashdod. That is one of the perks of living in this little southern town. I have missed some trips to Jerusalem over the last couple of weeks because of the rioting happening with the Arabs regarding the building of a walkway to the temple mount. I don't like living in this state of constant stress and danger to my life. Everytime I go to Jerusalem, I phone David as soon as I get there and before I am about to get on the bus to come home, so that he knows that I am safe. He tells me to be careful, sit in the front of the bus and if I see anyone suspicious, tell the bus driver to open the door. Not so I can run off, although that is a good idea, but because the reason so much damage can occur with a bomb, is because it sucks the air out of the enclosed space and people end up dying of asphyxiation. He learned all this in the army. Israel has its own problems politically and I fear for the survival of the state of Israel. There is a lot of infighting among Jews as well. And this country, Israel, was created as a safe haven for Jews, to come and live and not HAVE to pretend that they aren't Jews. So that they could be proud of being Jewish and could walk the streets safely without fear of oppression. And for the most part, they do walk the streets proud of being Jewish. It is a relief for many people to come here and to be able to live openly and proudly as a Jew. But it doesn't stop, just because they are in Israel. Now there is the terrorist threat from all sides, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Egypt. Each arab country has it's own terrorist organization trying to do harm to Israel. Then there is Iran.
The fact is, that Jews in North America live in a bubble. Especially in Canada. We are very free to be what we want to be, to practice what we want to practice. So we become apathetic about the problems in the rest of the world. Why should we get involved? That is our mantra. If we just live our own lives and mind our own business, we won't get hurt. But do we not have some sort of social responsibility towards others and ourselves?
The reader went on to say "I think the issue is more complicated than you give credit and can't be conflated with all of hate and racism." I am sorry dear reader, but if someone is hurting someone else based on the color of their skin or their ethnicity it is called racism, which, according to dictionary.com is a form of hatred.
I will post the definitions of racism here:
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
I think the issue is not as complicated as you would like to believe and that is just another way of saying "There is nothing I can do about it, since I can't think of who to write a letter to about this in a politically correct fashion"
The North American way, to write a letter.
And dont' forget to be politically correct.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Updated Ultrasound
We just came home from an ultrasound. The baby is now a little over 3.5 pounds. It did not want us to see it's face, apparently. It is upside down in my uterus already and the ultrasound lady said that it will probably not change positions as now there isn't a lot of room for movement in there. I notice that when it moves, I can see it now on my belly. I have always thought that it was lying crossways, so I am surprised that it is upside down. But we got sort of a profile picture today and it's nose has gotten longer and less pug, more like my nose than David's now. I was hoping for the Malul nose. David keeps saying that the baby looks like momma (his mother) but who knows? I can't believe it is my baby in the picture. It is a little unreal still.
I am excited about the birth now. I just want to see my baby. Hold my baby. Feed my baby. I have gained 28 pounds so far. And believe me, the size of my knockers tell me that I could feed Ethiopia with milk. It is incredible!
I wonder if Anna Nicole Smith was breastfeeding before her untimely death? Can you breastfeed if you have implants?
Anyone have an answer for that?
I feel a little shallow as I am talking about a baby all the time. Today I saw something on CNN which enraged me. A 12 year old girl was the victim of an antisemitic incident in the UK. She was attacked by a group of girls on the bus. ON THE BUS! They beat her up ON THE BUS! I don't understand. How is it possible that a little girl is sitting on a bus and subsequently attacked and nobody does anything to help her? Even if there was no one else on the bus, how about the bus driver? Now, I am not sure what transpired other than the beating on the bus, however, they did say that she managed to get off of the bus and get help. The girls asked her "Are you British or are you Jewish?" She answered British. They repeated this question numerous times. She repeatedly answered British. Now here is the quicker, these girls who beat her up, were black (what is that? African British?) and Asian (Asian British?), so she was beaten up by other minority groups.
What I found sad with this particular story, other than the fact that it was a 12 year old girl, beaten up by other minority groups and not helped by ordinary citizens is the young girls answer.
British. I am British. Not I am a British Jew, but just simply British. This is 2007. Why are we, as Jews, still hiding our identity? Anti semitism has permeated our own souls, so that we are so intent on "assimilation", we refuse to acknowledge our identity. We refuse to be proud of our identity. Would it be a bad thing to identify ourselves as Canadian Jews, American Jews, British Jews? The Asians are called Asian Americans, Black People are African American, Indians from India are called Indo Canadians in Vancouver. But we, as Jews, prefer not to be recognized for our uniqueness. In fact, so many people don't even talk about the fact that they are Jewish. No, we are not instantly recognizable on the street, like Asians, African Americans, Indians Native or Eastern, unless we wear payas and kippas and long black coats, but why shouldn't we be? Have the cossacks and Nazis won? Have we let them dictate to us that we are bad? That we should blend in and no one will know? If you were in the United States, let's say, California, and an African American was approached on a bus and asked "Are you an American, or African?" What would the answer be? My guess is that it would be African American. Not just one or the other. You know, the African Americans, have many countries where they can trace their ancestry, Africa, South America, etc, Asians, from Asia, East Indians from India and all over that area, Muslims, as we know have many countries and where do the Jews have? Now we have Israel, a country that they fought for and continue to fight for. And are constantly vilified in the media for. Are we going to be able to keep this country? Or will we lose it and once again be stateless. It's not right that we should have to lose our identity in order to blend in to modern day society. Stand up and be proud that you are Jewish,people! Remember, some of us fought hard to be and remain Jewish. Teach your children to be proud of who they are and where they come from. I was asked at my conversion a question which I have been pondering for awhile. They ask Converts questions such as this: "There are people like the Nazis who would want to kill you, what would you do?" In my smart ass thinking before the conversion I thought, you know what? The Nazi's would have put me in a death camp anyway, because I am half Jewish anyway. But they asked me "You are moving to Israel and there are people who will want to kill you there, if you were asked to renounce Judaism in order to save your life, would you do it?" I said "You know, I have worked so hard for this, there is not a chance that I would do it." OK, I knew that was the right answer and the answer they wanted to hear. And now, one year later, and one year of living in Israel, the answer is even more vehement. I am proud of what I have done. I am proud that I became a full fledged paper holding Jew. I am proud that I will raise my children as Jews. And I will teach them to be proud of being Jewish. I want to teach them to keep kosher, which is hard if we aren't living in Israel, I will teach them to observe the shabbat, because really, is it such a huge sacrifice to abstain from watching TV and listening to the radio or talking on the phone or cooking for 25 hours a week? I will teach them to value the essence of Jewish spirituality by going to synagogue and looking for the beauty of the prayers and psalms. Because really, as much as the various denominations of Judaism will argue about religion, this is all a part of who the Jews are. As Human Beings, we say we don't like the structure that Orthodoxy imposes, we don't like that it is patriarchal, we don't believe in G-d, we live in a modern world, how can we live like people on a shtetl, why should we make ourselves more noticeable or differentiate ourselves from society? Well, why not? What is so bad about this? Why is it so bad to be "different". In North America, politically correct is the mantra. We don't call blind people blind, we say "Visually impaired" we don't say deaf, we say "Hearing Impaired". We teach our children not to stare at people with disabilities and to practice acceptance of people of other races, but then we tell our children, "Don't be NOTICEABLY Jewish, don't wear a kippa everyday, don't wear "shtetl" clothing." Isn't that a double standard? Is that fair? We are who we are, we come from where we come from, stand up and tell people, "I am Jewish and I am proud of it." Say "I'm a Jew, Are you? We're here, and there, get used to it!"
Love,
Me.
I am excited about the birth now. I just want to see my baby. Hold my baby. Feed my baby. I have gained 28 pounds so far. And believe me, the size of my knockers tell me that I could feed Ethiopia with milk. It is incredible!
I wonder if Anna Nicole Smith was breastfeeding before her untimely death? Can you breastfeed if you have implants?
Anyone have an answer for that?
I feel a little shallow as I am talking about a baby all the time. Today I saw something on CNN which enraged me. A 12 year old girl was the victim of an antisemitic incident in the UK. She was attacked by a group of girls on the bus. ON THE BUS! They beat her up ON THE BUS! I don't understand. How is it possible that a little girl is sitting on a bus and subsequently attacked and nobody does anything to help her? Even if there was no one else on the bus, how about the bus driver? Now, I am not sure what transpired other than the beating on the bus, however, they did say that she managed to get off of the bus and get help. The girls asked her "Are you British or are you Jewish?" She answered British. They repeated this question numerous times. She repeatedly answered British. Now here is the quicker, these girls who beat her up, were black (what is that? African British?) and Asian (Asian British?), so she was beaten up by other minority groups.
What I found sad with this particular story, other than the fact that it was a 12 year old girl, beaten up by other minority groups and not helped by ordinary citizens is the young girls answer.
British. I am British. Not I am a British Jew, but just simply British. This is 2007. Why are we, as Jews, still hiding our identity? Anti semitism has permeated our own souls, so that we are so intent on "assimilation", we refuse to acknowledge our identity. We refuse to be proud of our identity. Would it be a bad thing to identify ourselves as Canadian Jews, American Jews, British Jews? The Asians are called Asian Americans, Black People are African American, Indians from India are called Indo Canadians in Vancouver. But we, as Jews, prefer not to be recognized for our uniqueness. In fact, so many people don't even talk about the fact that they are Jewish. No, we are not instantly recognizable on the street, like Asians, African Americans, Indians Native or Eastern, unless we wear payas and kippas and long black coats, but why shouldn't we be? Have the cossacks and Nazis won? Have we let them dictate to us that we are bad? That we should blend in and no one will know? If you were in the United States, let's say, California, and an African American was approached on a bus and asked "Are you an American, or African?" What would the answer be? My guess is that it would be African American. Not just one or the other. You know, the African Americans, have many countries where they can trace their ancestry, Africa, South America, etc, Asians, from Asia, East Indians from India and all over that area, Muslims, as we know have many countries and where do the Jews have? Now we have Israel, a country that they fought for and continue to fight for. And are constantly vilified in the media for. Are we going to be able to keep this country? Or will we lose it and once again be stateless. It's not right that we should have to lose our identity in order to blend in to modern day society. Stand up and be proud that you are Jewish,people! Remember, some of us fought hard to be and remain Jewish. Teach your children to be proud of who they are and where they come from. I was asked at my conversion a question which I have been pondering for awhile. They ask Converts questions such as this: "There are people like the Nazis who would want to kill you, what would you do?" In my smart ass thinking before the conversion I thought, you know what? The Nazi's would have put me in a death camp anyway, because I am half Jewish anyway. But they asked me "You are moving to Israel and there are people who will want to kill you there, if you were asked to renounce Judaism in order to save your life, would you do it?" I said "You know, I have worked so hard for this, there is not a chance that I would do it." OK, I knew that was the right answer and the answer they wanted to hear. And now, one year later, and one year of living in Israel, the answer is even more vehement. I am proud of what I have done. I am proud that I became a full fledged paper holding Jew. I am proud that I will raise my children as Jews. And I will teach them to be proud of being Jewish. I want to teach them to keep kosher, which is hard if we aren't living in Israel, I will teach them to observe the shabbat, because really, is it such a huge sacrifice to abstain from watching TV and listening to the radio or talking on the phone or cooking for 25 hours a week? I will teach them to value the essence of Jewish spirituality by going to synagogue and looking for the beauty of the prayers and psalms. Because really, as much as the various denominations of Judaism will argue about religion, this is all a part of who the Jews are. As Human Beings, we say we don't like the structure that Orthodoxy imposes, we don't like that it is patriarchal, we don't believe in G-d, we live in a modern world, how can we live like people on a shtetl, why should we make ourselves more noticeable or differentiate ourselves from society? Well, why not? What is so bad about this? Why is it so bad to be "different". In North America, politically correct is the mantra. We don't call blind people blind, we say "Visually impaired" we don't say deaf, we say "Hearing Impaired". We teach our children not to stare at people with disabilities and to practice acceptance of people of other races, but then we tell our children, "Don't be NOTICEABLY Jewish, don't wear a kippa everyday, don't wear "shtetl" clothing." Isn't that a double standard? Is that fair? We are who we are, we come from where we come from, stand up and tell people, "I am Jewish and I am proud of it." Say "I'm a Jew, Are you? We're here, and there, get used to it!"
Love,
Me.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Awakenings
It's 10 minutes to seven in the morning. Usually I am not awake at this time, but I woke up at 5 and haven't been able to get back to sleep. But now I am getting tired. Emil is still sleeping, which is unusual as he normally wakes up at 6/6:30. But he went to bed late last night as he is now in this extra class twice a week after school where he is learning thinking and learning strategies. The teacher is very impressed by him and says he has a spark for learning which just needs to be nurtured, and with such nurturing, he could go on to be very successful. How is that for pressure at 6 years old?
Emil also got an award for being the best behaved kid at school last week. He was very proud of himself for getting this. I told him that I loved him last night and that I was very proud of him. He told me that he loved me, even when I put him on the naughty chair, he loved me. I think this comes from a period of time where he would think that I didn't love him when I was upset with him or if I put him on the naughty chair. I told him and have told him repeatedly, that I will always love him and that I love him no matter what. It is cute when they use things back at you and it shows that he understands what I am saying, the idea that I love him all the time. This, I think is more important for me than for David, as I am still the newcomer in his life and even though he loves me and trusts me, I think there is still a part of him that doesn't know if I am really going to stay. And he is still getting to know me. He's such a great kid.
I went to the doctor yesterday. Just a monthly check up. I have to go for another urine test and an ultrasound, just to check that the baby is growing normally. I have now gained approximately 28 pounds, which is incredible to me. I only gained 1 kilo in Canada, and since I have been home (a month) I gained 4 kilos. Technically, 28 pounds isn't so bad, as the reccommended amount is 25 to 35. So, if I can somehow manage to only gain 7 pounds in the next two and a half months, I will be fine.
I am starting to freak out about organizational stuff. David and I still have to decide on a hospital where to give birth. There is a hospital in Tel Aviv that is a private hospital, but it looks so nice, but I don't think that I will do it there, due to financial constraints. We also need to find a birthing class. David has this superstition that we can't buy anything for the baby before it is born, this is his side's superstition, which is adding stress as I am thinking of all the things we will need immediately, like a car seat and clothes and diapers and wipes and blankets and stuff like that. His sister said that I can buy clothes for it but just not store it in my room. But then, I feel like if I start buying things now, it is bad luck, as I am only 7 1/2 months pregnant and there are still 2 and a half months to go...My superstition.
I watched I Am Sam last night. It was on TV. I didn't cry because I knew the ending, as I had seen it before, but I really felt like crying. I am super sensitive these days, especially when it comes to relationships between parents and children. I can't get the movie out of my head though. I just keep seeing the kids face when she was with her Dad. That little Dakota Fanning! And Sean Penn did amazing work in that movie.
Well that is all for now folks. I want to wake up the boys.
Emil also got an award for being the best behaved kid at school last week. He was very proud of himself for getting this. I told him that I loved him last night and that I was very proud of him. He told me that he loved me, even when I put him on the naughty chair, he loved me. I think this comes from a period of time where he would think that I didn't love him when I was upset with him or if I put him on the naughty chair. I told him and have told him repeatedly, that I will always love him and that I love him no matter what. It is cute when they use things back at you and it shows that he understands what I am saying, the idea that I love him all the time. This, I think is more important for me than for David, as I am still the newcomer in his life and even though he loves me and trusts me, I think there is still a part of him that doesn't know if I am really going to stay. And he is still getting to know me. He's such a great kid.
I went to the doctor yesterday. Just a monthly check up. I have to go for another urine test and an ultrasound, just to check that the baby is growing normally. I have now gained approximately 28 pounds, which is incredible to me. I only gained 1 kilo in Canada, and since I have been home (a month) I gained 4 kilos. Technically, 28 pounds isn't so bad, as the reccommended amount is 25 to 35. So, if I can somehow manage to only gain 7 pounds in the next two and a half months, I will be fine.
I am starting to freak out about organizational stuff. David and I still have to decide on a hospital where to give birth. There is a hospital in Tel Aviv that is a private hospital, but it looks so nice, but I don't think that I will do it there, due to financial constraints. We also need to find a birthing class. David has this superstition that we can't buy anything for the baby before it is born, this is his side's superstition, which is adding stress as I am thinking of all the things we will need immediately, like a car seat and clothes and diapers and wipes and blankets and stuff like that. His sister said that I can buy clothes for it but just not store it in my room. But then, I feel like if I start buying things now, it is bad luck, as I am only 7 1/2 months pregnant and there are still 2 and a half months to go...My superstition.
I watched I Am Sam last night. It was on TV. I didn't cry because I knew the ending, as I had seen it before, but I really felt like crying. I am super sensitive these days, especially when it comes to relationships between parents and children. I can't get the movie out of my head though. I just keep seeing the kids face when she was with her Dad. That little Dakota Fanning! And Sean Penn did amazing work in that movie.
Well that is all for now folks. I want to wake up the boys.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Shavua Tov!
How do you translate from Hebrew to English? Impossible with trying to sound the words out phoenetically!
We had our friend Gidon and his family for shabbat. He has five daughters and Tami, his wife, brought her mother with her. Tami's father died two months ago and so her mother is now living with Tami. She is the only child. That is what happens here in Israel, when one parent dies, the other one moves in with you.
They are a wonderful family and I feel as if they are my family too. In fact, we are now related, as David's niece married Gidon's nephew, so technically, we are related...How does that work? Distant cousins through marriage?
Shoshi, their 17 year old daughter is going to New York tomorrow so I have given her a shopping list for Starbucks Coffee and more Body Shop lip balm.
I have been trying to get a hold of our lawyer again, albeit unsuccessfully. I am getting very frustrated. I long to be back in Canada.
The wind is fierce here tonight. It is rainy and stormy. The doors in my apartment are not very strong and always slam closed in the wind. It is very annoying.
Gidon and his family are still here, not having left after shabbat yet. They are all watching TV and his five year old daughter is watching TV in my room so I am on the computer.
Emil is asleep, he has school tomorrow and is exhausted as I let him stay up til 8:30/9 o' clock last night. He is so not good at staying up late, he just gets so whiny and grumpy. I bumped up his bedtime til 7:30 as he was taking a long time to fall asleep but I still think that is too late. He wakes up so early. I have to sleep til 9 or 9:30 as I don't tend to fall asleep until midnight anyway. My internal clock is late.
Anyway, this is just like a blog of nothing tonight, just a way to pass the time before I get to the TV!
Night.
We had our friend Gidon and his family for shabbat. He has five daughters and Tami, his wife, brought her mother with her. Tami's father died two months ago and so her mother is now living with Tami. She is the only child. That is what happens here in Israel, when one parent dies, the other one moves in with you.
They are a wonderful family and I feel as if they are my family too. In fact, we are now related, as David's niece married Gidon's nephew, so technically, we are related...How does that work? Distant cousins through marriage?
Shoshi, their 17 year old daughter is going to New York tomorrow so I have given her a shopping list for Starbucks Coffee and more Body Shop lip balm.
I have been trying to get a hold of our lawyer again, albeit unsuccessfully. I am getting very frustrated. I long to be back in Canada.
The wind is fierce here tonight. It is rainy and stormy. The doors in my apartment are not very strong and always slam closed in the wind. It is very annoying.
Gidon and his family are still here, not having left after shabbat yet. They are all watching TV and his five year old daughter is watching TV in my room so I am on the computer.
Emil is asleep, he has school tomorrow and is exhausted as I let him stay up til 8:30/9 o' clock last night. He is so not good at staying up late, he just gets so whiny and grumpy. I bumped up his bedtime til 7:30 as he was taking a long time to fall asleep but I still think that is too late. He wakes up so early. I have to sleep til 9 or 9:30 as I don't tend to fall asleep until midnight anyway. My internal clock is late.
Anyway, this is just like a blog of nothing tonight, just a way to pass the time before I get to the TV!
Night.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Back Home on the Range
Well, it has been a month since I have been back in Israel. I haven't been very good at blogging. In these last couple of weeks I have been horribly emotional. I am crying at the drop of a hat. I was never a very good crier before, but lately, it doesn't take much to make me cry. I would suspect that it is depression, however, I got an email from a friend of mine, who is also pregnant, due about two weeks after me and she also has been feeling quite emotional, so I am going to guess that this is all hormonally related. Wow, that's all it took to express emotions? I should have done this years ago! Just joking.
I would like to mention that when I was in Vancouver, I spent a very lovely morning with my friend Abby. We met in university and in fact, she is the only friend I managed to make during my my one and one eighth semester attending UBC. She was very sweet back then...She still is. We went for a lovely brunch at the Naam, where I had pancakes and veggie sausages. I was obsessed with pancakes in Canada. I also got to see Abby's beautiful house. I was very impressed and very glad to see that there is a bedroom waiting for me and the baby to come and visit!
(You see, Abby, here you are!)
Anyway, I have to run as we are having guests for shabbat and I woke up really late this morning. Actually, I woke up at 6, because Emil came into our room to wake David up and I flipped over in my sleep and put my hand over the side of the bed and he grabbed it and then he crawled into bed with me for a cuddle. And I couldn't get back to sleep for awhile, but eventually did and now I am running late!
I would like to mention that when I was in Vancouver, I spent a very lovely morning with my friend Abby. We met in university and in fact, she is the only friend I managed to make during my my one and one eighth semester attending UBC. She was very sweet back then...She still is. We went for a lovely brunch at the Naam, where I had pancakes and veggie sausages. I was obsessed with pancakes in Canada. I also got to see Abby's beautiful house. I was very impressed and very glad to see that there is a bedroom waiting for me and the baby to come and visit!
(You see, Abby, here you are!)
Anyway, I have to run as we are having guests for shabbat and I woke up really late this morning. Actually, I woke up at 6, because Emil came into our room to wake David up and I flipped over in my sleep and put my hand over the side of the bed and he grabbed it and then he crawled into bed with me for a cuddle. And I couldn't get back to sleep for awhile, but eventually did and now I am running late!
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