I have been reflecting a lot lately on my life. Where I am now, as opposed to where I thought I WOULD be now. Every morning I sit outside on my balcony and stare out at the view. It is a breathtaking view. Rolling desert mountains, spotted with trees and horses and camels. In the far distance, I can see the mountains of Jordan, which means that just over the hills in front of my house, is the Dead Sea.
I heard a woman speak one day and she said "I have a life today that I never even wanted." She didn't mean it in a bad way. She just meant that upon reflecting upon the person that she was a very young woman and what that young woman wanted out of her life was so opposite to how she lived in the present moment.
I so relate to this. After my tumultuous teenage years and my early 20's, I had come to the conclusion that I would probably end up settling in Vancouver, get married, have a couple of kids, who would know the Starbucks menu by heart and enjoy playing in the playground at Stanley Park. I had friends who moved to the suburbs of Vancouver after they got married and had children, but that life so wasn't for me. No way was I going to be a suburban mommy. Ever. E-VER!!!!
Here is a list of things that I never thought would be a part of my life:
Chickens in my back yard
Horses across the street from me
Children who don't like shoes
Children with messy hair, except for on Shabbat
That a "fall" is a type of wig
Shabbat
Saying "I live 15 minutes from Jerusalem"
Being unphased by x ray machines in the bus station
Security guard at my sons school
Seeing people walk around with a huge honking gun hanging from their pants.
NEVER in a million years did I imagine living in Israel. Never did I imagine that I would live in a "suburb" of Jerusalem. Never did I think that I would become more right wing - at least in Israel.
Never did I imagine that I would see a war in a lifetime, let alone two.
My life is SO NOT how I imagined nor is it a life I ever wanted. Funny how things turn out, hey?
