OY VEY!

Today Chaya had her first round of immunizations, for Hep B. Oh my G-d! It was traumatic. There is nothing worse than knowing that your child is going to be in pain. I almost started crying. She screamed when they stuck her with the needle. It was terrible. I wanted David to hold her so I could leave the room, but the nurse MADE me hold her because she said it would relax her to smell my scent. This lady obviously doesn't know Chaya. Chaya was already mad because we woke her up from her nap, so she wasn't having any of this calming down business before she got the shot. Chaya is very stubborn. I hope this is a good trait, someday.
She was up at 3 this morning for her feeding but last night she did not want to go back to sleep, so I was up till 4 with her. I am exhausted this morning as our appointment for her shot was at 7:30. I feel like a zombie. Chaya is sleeping now, so in a minute I will join her. She has gained 1.3 kilos. She now weighs 8.5 pounds. She has gained almost 3 pounds in 7 weeks. That's my little piggy pig! I just hope that when she is older she has a better metabolism than the people in either of our families. The poor kid has obesity on both sides. Hopefully she won't inherit our struggle with weight. But she is getting really cute and fun and chubby and that makes me happy. She loves to get her diaper changed and she loves it when we call her our little poopy girl. Her hair is still thick as ever and I am dressing her more in pink clothing as I am tired of people calling her a boy. I do not think she looks like a boy, but I have also made that mistake with other people's children. Now I know how offensive it is so I will try to never make that mistake again.
My banana cream pie turned out to be more like banana cream mush and the quiche was OK, except I didn't wash the spinach well enough so it was quite a crunchy quiche. I neglected to tell David that there was dirt in it, so today I am going to throw it away and tell him that it fell on the floor. He doesn't like it when I throw away food and will keep leftovers in the fridge for weeks. Even months until I stealthily throw it away. It is leftover baggage from his childhood I think. I don't like the fridge to be overflowing with crap like leftovers...I hate clutter. I could write the book simplify your life. Someone once gave that book to me, but I don't think I need it anymore as far as crap in the house goes. I am only too happy to throw shit away. Most of the time anyway. Here it is hard because David is a pack rat and he is teaching Emil to be the same way. I keep telling David that we need to go through Emil's toys and give away the stuff he doesn't play with and David keeps saying "NO! HE PLAYS WITH EVERYTHING!" This is false. Emil rarely even plays with his toys if he can con us into letting him watch TV. And Emil picks up things from outside, like flyers and rocks and beer bottle tops and David wants to let him keep all this crap. So one day when I am through being addicted to facebook and Chaya is asleep and I am rested I will go through and get rid of it on my own without either of them realizing it. That is what it is to be a Mom! Hahaha.

Fumbling through motherhood

Well, it has been 7 weeks and one day since I had a baby. I have attempted to write posts about the experience but have never been able to finish one, usually because the baby wakes up and interrupts me. She has been sleeping now for almost three hours, which is amazing for her to do during the day. She will probably wake up now that I am in the middle of something more important than making food. I just finished preparing a quiche for dinner tonight and making a banana cream pie, which I have never done before. I had to make the crusts for both from scratch which I did this morning when she was sleeping. I have had a productive day in that I have been shopping, made pie crust, made the quiche and the pie. This is a lot to attempt in one day. I have even done all the dishes. I am exhausted now, needless to say and instead of catching up on sleep I am writing.
Motherhood is not what I expected. To be fair, I was a mother already to Emil but it is a completely different experience to mother a child of 5 than it is to mother a newborn baby. I haven't had a good night's sleep since she was born, although really, the discomfort started in my eighth month of pregnancy. I am really feeling the isolation. I miss so much more my friends and family in Canada. It is hard here, to be all alone and not have people to call to back you up. I still hate living in Israel with a passion. David has been called up to go to the army and if he can't wrangle himself out of it, it will be hell. He will probably only have to go for a week, but that is a long time when I have a baby and Emil.
Chaya is a crier. She cries a lot. At first I thought it was colic, but now I am not so sure. I was reading about some babies just being like this. She cried from the moment she came out, almost as if she was voicing her dissatisfaction already at her living conditions. I don't blame her really. Nothing is as I thought it was going to be.
I am also feeling post baby fat. My body is chubbier than I have ever been and it grates on the self esteem. I barely have time to shower during the day anyway. I miss being able to take my time in the bath, do my feet and nails and shave my legs. I eat on the go. Like I used to when I was a waitress. Gulping down food. No time to enjoy it. It isn't so fun. I thought that a baby would be easy, in that they are supposed to sleep all the time and just wake up to eat and be changed. She does that sometimes, but she also has a couple of fussy periods where she just cries like I am hitting her. I am afraid to take her on the bus to Jerusalem or on the train anywhere. I am afraid that she will start to scream. She does have more periods of wakefulness, where she is happy and smiley. It melts my heart when she smiles. There really is nothing better than seeing her little lopsided, gummy smile. Sometimes I miss her when she sleeps and I want to wake her up but then I am afraid that if I wake her up she will scream, so I leave her be.
I am addicted to facebook. It has been nice to reconnect with some old friends. I have enjoyed it.
Anyway, a quick update on life with baby. I miss everyone.