Sometimes I read other people's blogs and I just think, wow! They are almost poetic in their writing. Then I think I wish I could be that way in mine...Sigh.
Where to begin? I was contemplating changing the name of this blog, to something like life with children, because the pregnant thing wasn't fitting anymore. But guess what? I appear to be very much pregnant with number 2! So now I don't have to change the name!
I was noticing that Chaya seemed to be rejecting the breast and that I was dreaming a lot of very vivid dreams, which sometimes happens to me right before a period. Then I was going to the bathroom a lot, but I thought that was because I was drinking a lot of water and frankly, I have never had a very strong bladder! But then I didn't menstruate when I was supposed to. Which I thought, well it might just be due to breastfeeding. Well, lo and behold, I am with bun in the oven, one more time.
I have to say I wasn't very pleased. Chaya is only 5 months old, and if my calculations are right, this means that new baby should arrive right around Chaya's first birthday. I was disappointed because I wanted more time with Chaya, just me and her, without having more distractions than there already are. Plus, I wanted to breastfeed longer, and I no that one can breastfeed and be pregnant at the same time, however, Chaya hasn't wanted to unless she needs to sleep. I was finally starting to enjoy breastfeeding too. Plus, things have been very difficult financially for us, so there are so many things that make it hard to accept. But it is a reality and what is done is done. Fortunately so far, the biggest problem has been terrible moodswings. I am not super nauseous and in fact have only thrown up twice, this morning being one of those times. Otherwise, it is normal. But then I felt guilty for feeling disappointed. I know that there are so many other women out there who are having trouble conceiving or can't have children at all and I should be grateful, but really, I think, why am I deserving and these women not? I don't know, major mixed feelings about this.
Emil starts school on Friday. He is excited about this. I am excited about this. I feel guilty as I haven't had the energy to spend with him this summer. And he has been pretty bored and lonely. So it will be nice for him to be back in the social setting of school. He likes school, I can only hope that that will last him his whole school career. We so want our children to succeed where we didn't. I want my kids to go to university, to study and do well in school. I would like to go back to university. I don't know what I would like to study but I would like to learn again. And to finish a degree now, that would be a great role model for the kids. Maybe when we go back to Canada, I can do one class a semester and by the time I am fifty I could have a BA. You know, it wouldn't really matter how much time it took, it would just be nice to do it, I think. To accomplish it. My Dad was 42 when he got his PHD. Not bad.
But I also want my kids to be happy, doing whatever they are doing. I have hopes and dreams for them, but the most important thing is if they are happy doing what they are doing, be it a doctor or a cashier at McDonald's, then so be it! Yes, this is easy to say when they are 6 and 5 months, we will see how I will feel in 20 years about their choices!
Hey. Friend from Norway, I would love to answer some of your questions regarding living in Israel and Israeli politics, but I want to keep this blog as much as I can about the kids and pregnancy. If you want to send me a comment with your email address I would be happy to be an email penpal for you. All of the comments that I receive must be approved by me before being published on this page, so I just wouldn't publish your comment with your email address.
OK, good night everyone.
The Desert
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Kid Update
Well, I think I am over the shock of my actions. It's been a crazy couple of weeks, months, years, whatever.
As if things couldn't go more wrong, Emil had somehow contracted lice, I have no idea where or how, as he isn't in school or camp and the only place I can think that it might have happened was at his cousins in Haifa, but they didn't seem to be itching their heads when they came here to visit. So I don't really know how it happened but it did, so David shaved his head and I bought lice shampoo as I had a sneaking suspicion that perhaps I had it too. So I spent the last Friday before shabbat shampooing and combing through my hair. I have now done three treatments as I keep feeling itchy. I will do another one tomorrow and that should be it. I think it is gone now, unless I think about it...I haven't had lice since I was six.
Then I was terrified that the baby has it but I can't tell the difference between the flakes from her cradle cap and lice eggs. I keep looking for lice but haven't found any yet. Baruch Hashem.
Chaya is getting super funny now. She has figured out that she has a voice and isn't afraid to use it so she has now taken to yelling and screaming. It is pretty entertaining. And she can laugh pretty well now. It cracks me up. She also seems to have forgotten how to turn from her tummy to her back but now she turns from her back to her tummy and then gets stuck. Then she gets really mad and starts to scream. She sure has a temper. And she has found her toes and gets upset when she can't stick them into her mouth. I think with all her frustration she is going to push herself to do things and be quick. I think she is pretty funny. She adores Emil. She watches him wherever he goes and just waits for him to make her smile. Sometimes she smiles when she sees him in anticipation of what he is going to do to make her laugh. It is adorable. Seriously.
Emil has made a leap from baby to taking the big boy thing really seriously. I think perhaps his two weeks with his cousins made him feel really special because he could be on vacation by himself. Now he goes to the park in front of our house by himself and takes the elevator and knows the way. He is really proud of this accomplishment and although I am still a little uncomfortable with it, I let him continue because I see how good it has been for his self esteem and confidence. He feels really responsible and grown up because of this. I am proud of him. Now he wants to do EVERYTHING by himself, get his own cheerios and drinks. The other day I was trying to nap with Chaya and I heard him rooting around amongst the dishes in the kitchen and I came out and he was about to pour himself shabbat wine, which is only grape juice, but we keep it especially for shabbat. I stopped him in time. But it was cute nonetheless. He really has grown up and will be starting grade one in September. He turns six in three weeks and I am still trying to figure out how to have a party for him on a small budget.
So that is the news of the kids.
As if things couldn't go more wrong, Emil had somehow contracted lice, I have no idea where or how, as he isn't in school or camp and the only place I can think that it might have happened was at his cousins in Haifa, but they didn't seem to be itching their heads when they came here to visit. So I don't really know how it happened but it did, so David shaved his head and I bought lice shampoo as I had a sneaking suspicion that perhaps I had it too. So I spent the last Friday before shabbat shampooing and combing through my hair. I have now done three treatments as I keep feeling itchy. I will do another one tomorrow and that should be it. I think it is gone now, unless I think about it...I haven't had lice since I was six.
Then I was terrified that the baby has it but I can't tell the difference between the flakes from her cradle cap and lice eggs. I keep looking for lice but haven't found any yet. Baruch Hashem.
Chaya is getting super funny now. She has figured out that she has a voice and isn't afraid to use it so she has now taken to yelling and screaming. It is pretty entertaining. And she can laugh pretty well now. It cracks me up. She also seems to have forgotten how to turn from her tummy to her back but now she turns from her back to her tummy and then gets stuck. Then she gets really mad and starts to scream. She sure has a temper. And she has found her toes and gets upset when she can't stick them into her mouth. I think with all her frustration she is going to push herself to do things and be quick. I think she is pretty funny. She adores Emil. She watches him wherever he goes and just waits for him to make her smile. Sometimes she smiles when she sees him in anticipation of what he is going to do to make her laugh. It is adorable. Seriously.
Emil has made a leap from baby to taking the big boy thing really seriously. I think perhaps his two weeks with his cousins made him feel really special because he could be on vacation by himself. Now he goes to the park in front of our house by himself and takes the elevator and knows the way. He is really proud of this accomplishment and although I am still a little uncomfortable with it, I let him continue because I see how good it has been for his self esteem and confidence. He feels really responsible and grown up because of this. I am proud of him. Now he wants to do EVERYTHING by himself, get his own cheerios and drinks. The other day I was trying to nap with Chaya and I heard him rooting around amongst the dishes in the kitchen and I came out and he was about to pour himself shabbat wine, which is only grape juice, but we keep it especially for shabbat. I stopped him in time. But it was cute nonetheless. He really has grown up and will be starting grade one in September. He turns six in three weeks and I am still trying to figure out how to have a party for him on a small budget.
So that is the news of the kids.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
I think I'm turning Israeli, I think I'm turning Israeli, I really think so...
Well, I just experienced my first case of the protective mother instinct. What do they call it? The lion instinct? I can't remember. It's either that or I have really become Israeli.
I took the kids and the dog to the playground today and we were the only ones there for a little while. The dog was sitting nicely beside me lounging and sleeping. This is what she normally does. She is an old dog, almost near her end. Anyway, these older russian ladies come, I will call them the Russian nanny mafia. This lady tells me to move with the dog. It's a huge park, with a lot of space, so why they need to sit exactly where I am sitting, I have no idea. I told her no I wasn't moving. That she could move. And she plopped herself down and refused to move and continued yelling at me. I'm like what? So I yelled a few choice words at her in English and then she told me she was going to call the police. Seriously, because I wouldn't move with the dog. I laughed, because in a country where there is a constant threat of terrorist acts, the police will only come if you are dying. I know, we called them once when some kids came to our door and wouldn't leave (that's a story for a different time and doesn't involve me directly). So, I laughed and told her to go ahead, call them over a dog. So all was quiet for a little while, when the dog decided to move her position and came and plopped herself down at this woman's feet, which I have to say, I thought it was a little funny. Now, I had the baby on my lap and the woman starts to yell at me again, half in russian half in Hebrew. I told her that I had been here first and she could move, and then she grabbed my arm, to which I ashamedly admit, I slapped her in the face. Then she grabbed my arm and scratched me with her long fake russian nails. I couldn't believe it. Then SHE threatened to call the police on me. I told her to go ahead. Anyway, she won finally because I was so furious that I was afraid that I would hurt her more and then I really would have been in trouble. So I called Emil and we left. But as I was leaving I said very nicely in English that I hope she dies a horrible death of cancer. In Danish, how they swear is by saying something like, "May cancer eat your mother". Good that it came in handy today.
Okay, I know this is insanity but it's the PRINCIPLE of the thing. I am tired of people in Israel pushing me around. Seriously, the only way to survive here is to be tough and sometimes aggressive in physical ways. Besides, if someone tries to hurt me with my child in my arms, you can bet that I am going to react unreasonably.
Oh sigh. Just another day in Israel.
This was my first fight in my life. I have never in my life hit another human being. Well, not those that weren't my brothers and sisters. I called David and he told me well done. I think I made him feel better about himself and then he told me to call my sponsor. The funny thing is, that this happened just as I was reading step 3 and 4 in the big book. How Ironic!
I took the kids and the dog to the playground today and we were the only ones there for a little while. The dog was sitting nicely beside me lounging and sleeping. This is what she normally does. She is an old dog, almost near her end. Anyway, these older russian ladies come, I will call them the Russian nanny mafia. This lady tells me to move with the dog. It's a huge park, with a lot of space, so why they need to sit exactly where I am sitting, I have no idea. I told her no I wasn't moving. That she could move. And she plopped herself down and refused to move and continued yelling at me. I'm like what? So I yelled a few choice words at her in English and then she told me she was going to call the police. Seriously, because I wouldn't move with the dog. I laughed, because in a country where there is a constant threat of terrorist acts, the police will only come if you are dying. I know, we called them once when some kids came to our door and wouldn't leave (that's a story for a different time and doesn't involve me directly). So, I laughed and told her to go ahead, call them over a dog. So all was quiet for a little while, when the dog decided to move her position and came and plopped herself down at this woman's feet, which I have to say, I thought it was a little funny. Now, I had the baby on my lap and the woman starts to yell at me again, half in russian half in Hebrew. I told her that I had been here first and she could move, and then she grabbed my arm, to which I ashamedly admit, I slapped her in the face. Then she grabbed my arm and scratched me with her long fake russian nails. I couldn't believe it. Then SHE threatened to call the police on me. I told her to go ahead. Anyway, she won finally because I was so furious that I was afraid that I would hurt her more and then I really would have been in trouble. So I called Emil and we left. But as I was leaving I said very nicely in English that I hope she dies a horrible death of cancer. In Danish, how they swear is by saying something like, "May cancer eat your mother". Good that it came in handy today.
Okay, I know this is insanity but it's the PRINCIPLE of the thing. I am tired of people in Israel pushing me around. Seriously, the only way to survive here is to be tough and sometimes aggressive in physical ways. Besides, if someone tries to hurt me with my child in my arms, you can bet that I am going to react unreasonably.
Oh sigh. Just another day in Israel.
This was my first fight in my life. I have never in my life hit another human being. Well, not those that weren't my brothers and sisters. I called David and he told me well done. I think I made him feel better about himself and then he told me to call my sponsor. The funny thing is, that this happened just as I was reading step 3 and 4 in the big book. How Ironic!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)